Demographic studies show that almost 100% of those who use coffins are dead and are not repeat customers. A coffin, or as people in the trade refer to them, a casket, is probably the most expensive piece of furniture anyone will probably buy–unless they stop to go to the restroom at an estate sale while a brass-swan lamp with a pink taffeta shade is being auctioned off for $80,000, but that’s another story.
The casket my Uncle Frank was buried in had box springs. Box springs! The man didn’t even sleep on box springs when he was alive. Maybe if he had, he’d have lived a little longer.
If you could sell coffins to the living you could expand the potential market a thousand fold. Ikea could come up with a do-it-your-self casket. Crunchy granola types could line theirs with futons. For those who would feel a tad bit uncomfortable sleeping in a casket, why not make it a guest bed? It’d be one way to assure visitors wouldn’t over stay their welcome. Caskets could be marketed to fit into any room’s decor. If it were made out of teak, it’d make a tasteful coffee table. Since caskets have to be watertight they’d make a dandy bathtub after a little of creative accessorizing.
That’s it. I just had this weird idea and I thought I’d share it with the world.
Funeral Cartoons for use in self-published books, fliers, etc. A lot cheaper than a coffin and a lot more fun than death.