Court Room Bloopers & Lawyer Cartoons

Lederer Richard Disorder In The CourtI drew the book cover and several cartoons for Disorder in the Court: Legal Laughs, Court Jests, and Just Jokes Culled From the Nation’s Justice System published in 1996 by the National Court Reporters Association.

It’s a series of courtroom bloopers culled by court reporters from transcripts, or as they call them, “Transquips.”

Here are a few of them.

FEDERAL JUDGE: This seems like a fairly simple problem. Let’s not make a federal case out of it.

Q. Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A. All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.

Court Reporter Cartoon 7418

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Q. Are you familiar with the Manual of Uniform Traffic Control Devices?

A. Yes, I am.

Q. What does that manual say about trimming trees around a stop sign?

A. I don’t know, quite honestly. As I understand it, at least five times as many attorneys purchase that manual as traffic engineers, so you would be more familiar with it than I am.

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THE COURT: Could you run through that list of stuff again? The mixer, microwave, et cetera.

WIFE’S COUNSEL: It is a VCR, a CD player, a mixer, walkie-talkie, microwave, tape player, half of the CDs and tapes, and the cables which attach to those items.

THE COURT: Is the microwave and mixer on there?

WIFE’S COUNSEL: No, the mixer would have to do with the stereo system, not the typical kitchen mixer.

THE COURT: Was there a microwave?

WIFE’S COUNSEL: There was a microwave.

THE COURT: That’s not the name of an album, is it?

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JUDGE: Well, gentlemen of the jury, are you unanimous?

FOREMAN: Yes, your Honor, we’re all alike—temporarily insane.

Q. How many trucks do you own?

A. Seventeen.

Q. Seventy?

A. Seventeen?

A. No. About twelve.

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Disorder in the Court is still available on Amazon, but whereas its list price was $14.95 when it was published in 1996, a new copy now sells for $39.95, and used copies prices range from $34.35 to $2,207.54. $2,207.54?! There’s a blog in there somewhere.

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More Legal Cartoons that can be used in presentations, magazines, websites, books, etc. We don’t recommend you use them during closing arguments, though.