Mushroom Sex

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I was surprised to learn that Charles Darwin’s daughter, Henrietta, was a prude.

She did her best to rid her patch of stinkhorn mushrooms. Their Latin name, Phallus impudicus, gives an indication why a prude wouldn’t like them. Even a kid from Waldport whose Latin doesn’t extend beyond E Pluribus Unum can get a pretty good idea what this particular “fruiting body” looks like. Fruiting body is what they call the part of a mushroom you can see. Some are limp. Some are erect.

Mushroom Cartoon 9145

License Mushroom Cartoon 9145
Get it printed on stuff at Cafepress and Zazzle

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A Letter to Google’s Senior VP of Humor about Web Design

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This is a letter I snail mailed to Google Today.

Senior Vice President of Humor
Google Inc.
1600 Amphitheatre Parkway
Mountain View, CA 94043

Dear Lover of Mirth:

I didn’t see a Senior Vice President of Humor on your management team web page, but I’m assuming any company that has Doodles must have lovers of mirth. Continue reading →

Weather & Topless Beaches in Oregon

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The Oregon coast has topless beaches in that if you’re feeling particularly frisky, feel free to take off your sweatshirt. I feel practically nude if I’m not wearing a sweatshirt.

When it’s 100° inland, it’s often foggy and windy on the beach because cold air is sucked off the ocean.

“Honey, it’s 100° in Portland,” I imagine someone saying, “but only 50° in Yachats. Let’s spend the weekend on the beach.” They come wearing shorts and flip-flops and since it’s 50° they buy a coastal sweatshirt. Continue reading →

Tampons in Africa

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I’ve often thought there should be an Indiana Jane screenplay were the heroine saves the day by stuffing a tampon in a leaking dam.

I got the idea while living in an old trailer where the only running water was rain leaking through the roof.

One night I saw a mouse scurrying out of the bathroom with a tampon in it’s mouth. “Wait,” I shouted. “Aren’t you worried about toxic shock syndrome?”

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The Komic: Where Does the Cartoon Go From Here?

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My blog posts over the last five days have been a rough outline of The Komic’s origin story. The Komic is a graphic novel about a super hero comedian I hope to someday to draw and write.

Where does the story go from here? I have oodles of ideas.

One story line involves a spate of people dying from heart attacks in Odd Port. Or are they heart attacks? No one can prove The Komic is killing people, but many believe she is. Whenever there is a suspicious death someone asks, “Was it natural or was he a victim of The Komic?”

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The Komic, A Killer Comedian?

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Part Two of The Komic’s Origin Story

All great superheroes need to have an origin story.

The Komic T- Shirt

The Komic T-shirt is available at Cafepress. Be the first on your block, if not your state, to own one.

Quick Recap of Part 1:

A newborn flew out of a hospital window and landed on her head. Bonnie Watson who ran the mortuary next door took the waif home and named her Lily Puddly. When Lily Puddly was 35, Bonnie Watson contracted a terminal brain disease. She and Lily Puddly go to the Odd Port Comedy Club on open-mike night hoping to distract themselves, but none of the comedians are any good. Bonnie Watson says to Lily Puddly that she tells far better jokes than that lot, and she should try her hand at stand up. Continue reading →